Take Control of your Business
The Definitive Guide to Sticking to Your New Year’s Resolutions
‘Habits are at first cobwebs, then cables.’ ~ Spanish Proverb
Post written by Leo Babauta, author of The Power of Less, the fine art of limiting yourself to the essential…in business and in life.
Let’s face it: most of us fail when it comes to sticking to resolutions — so much so that many people swear never to make resolutions again.
And yet the rest of us are eternally hopeful when the New Year comes around, believing without any credible evidence that we can improve our lives, that change is possible, that we’re not going to be stuck in the same old rut again this year.
I’m here to tell you that you can do it. It’s possible. I’ll show you how.
The Problem with Most Resolutions
While I love the optimism of New Year’s Resolutions, unfortunately, the enthusiasm and hope often fades within weeks, and our efforts at self improvement come to a whimpering end.
New Year’s Resolutions usually fail because of a combination of some of these reasons:
- We try to do too many resolutions at once, and that spreads our focus and energies too thin. It’s much less effective to do many habits at once (read more).
- We only have a certain amount of enthusiasm and motivation, and it runs out because we try to do too much, too soon. We spend all that energy in the beginning and then run out of steam.
- We try to do really tough habits right away, which means it’s difficult and we become overwhelmed or intimidated by the difficulty and quit.
- We try to be “disciplined” and do very unpleasant habits, but our nature won’t allow that to last for long. If we really don’t want to do something, we won’t be able to force ourselves to do it for long.
- Life gets in the way. Things come up unexpectedly that get in the way of us sticking with a habit.
- Resolutions are often vague — I’m going to exercise! — but don’t contain a concrete action plan and don’t use proven habit techniques. That’s a recipe for failure.
There are other reasons, but the ones above are easily sufficient to stop resolutions from succeeding.
The 6 Changes Method
So what are we to do? I’ve created the 6 Changes Method to solve these problems:
- We only focus on one habit change at a time, so our focus and energies aren’t spread thinly.
- We implement the habit changes gradually, so we don’t run out of steam.
- We start out really, really easily, so it isn’t intimidating.
- We focus on enjoyable activities, so we don’t need “discipline”.
- We have two months to do the habit change, so if something comes up, it’s but a small bump in the road. And because we’re publicly committed, we’re going to get back on track.
- We have a very specific plan with actions built in, using proven habit change techniques.
If you stick with the method, you’ll do much better than you’ve done in the past with New Year’s Resolutions. You’ll focus on creating long-lasting habits rather than trying to reach a short-term goal that fails. You’ll maintain your enthusiasm for longer and not become overwhelmed by the difficulty of change. You’ll have habits that will change your life, and that’s no small feat.
The Method
So how does the 6 Changes method work?
It’s simple:
- Pick 6 habits for 2010.
- Pick 1 of the 6 habits to start with.
- Commit as publicly as possible to creating this new habit in 2 months.
- Break the habit into 8 baby steps, starting with a ridiculously easy step. Example: if you want to floss, the first step is just to get out a piece of floss at the same time each night.
- Choose a trigger for your habit – something already in your routine that will immediately precede the habit. Examples: eating breakfast, brushing your teeth, showering, waking up, arriving at the office, leaving the office, getting home in the evening.
- Do the 1st, really easy baby step for one week, right after the trigger.
- Each week, move on to a slightly harder step. You’ll want to progress faster, but don’t. You’re building a new habit. Repeat this until you’ve done 8 weeks.
You now have a new habit! Commit to Habit No. 2 and repeat the process.
‘It does not matter how slow you go so long as you do not stop.’ ~ Confucius
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
8 Ways Doing Less Can Transform Your Work & Life Do less, be happier.
“Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.” - Antoine de Saint Exupery
Post written by Leo Babauta, author of The Power of Less, the fine art of limiting yourself to the essential…in business and in life.
Most productivity blogs and books will teach you how to do more, to get more done, to be more productive.
I want to teach you to do less, to get less done and to be less productive.
And while I’ve written about it before, I think it’s time we take a look at how this can really change your work life, and your life as a whole.
Doing less is not about being lazy (though being lazy is a good start) — it’s about focusing on quality rather than quantity. It’s about getting off the hamster wheel of productivity, so that you can create something great rather than just being busy.
Let’s take a few examples:
- A furniture maker can mass-produce a ton of cheap furniture that will fall apart within a year. Another craftsman might produce way fewer pieces of furniture, but make them beautifully and solidly, so that they’ll last for generations. If he makes them well enough, they might even be sought out and remembered for their great design.
- A programmer can write tens of thousands of lines of code, and produce a lot of software that works. A less productive coder can write a tenth of the lines, perhaps even editing down what she writes so that there’s less code, but they’re better written. This small program might be the most useful thing on many people’s computers, flawless code that just works.
- A writer can churn out lots of words (hundreds of thousands, if not millions), but have his work read by relatively few. Another writer can write a small but powerful blog post or ebook, and have the post be spread by thousands of people.
In each case, the person produced less, but focused on quality. The impact of the smaller work was higher, and thus the time worked was better spent.
I’d argue that by focusing on quality, you could work less and still have a higher impact. I’ve done this in my life — by cutting back on my work hours, I actually get less done but have a higher impact.
I should note: this takes courage, to do less. You have to shed all the old ideas of working harder and working more and being more productive. You have to forget about what others thing about your work habits, and instead think about the impact the work has on the world and your life. You have to change the way you do things, and that’s never easy.
But it’s worth the effort.
Here are some ways this philosophy can change your life and work:
- Less hectic, busy schedule, less stress, more peace. Doing less leaves free to schedule less, leave more space in your schedule, work at a more human pace.
- More ability to focus, to find Flow, to work in the moment. When you are doing too much, you are constantly switching from one task to another, constantly interrupted, constantly distracted. Do less, clear away distractions, single-task.
- Work has more impact and spreads further and wider. When you do too much, your work is spread thinner, you have lower quality, and people won’t spread your work or give you awards for low-quality work.
- More pride in your work, which feels good. Feels awesome, actually, to create something worth putting your name on.
- People appreciate higher quality. Customers rave. Readers enthuse. Reviewers glow. Bosses promote.
- More time for family and loved ones. Not a small benefit. Be sure that if you do less, you use the saved time for something important. Like quiet time for the ones you love.
- More time for other things you enjoy. I use my time for exercise, or reading, and of course my family.
- Free yourself up to create amazing things. Creating is hard to do when you’re busy and distracted. By doing less, you can create something great.
How to Do Less
I almost didn’t include this section, as to me it seems obvious: you just … do less. But I realize it’s not obvious to everyone, so I’ll share a few tips:
- Slowly cut back on non-essential commitments.
- Have fewer meetings.
- Say no to requests, as much as possible, so you can focus on doing something great.
- Cut out distractions, especially the Internet.
- Single-task and focus.
- Churn out a shitty first draft, then edit.
- Edit some more. Make it beautiful and minimal.
- Make it something you will be proud to claim credit for.
- When you find yourself doing busy-work, stop, put it off, find ways to cut that out of your life.
- Whatever blocks you from doing your great work, kill it.
- Set limits on how many things you do each day.
- Focus on the most important tasks first, before you get distracted.
- Set limits on your work hours.
It won’t happen overnight. Change gradually, but surely.
“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius – and a lot of courage – to move in the opposite direction.” - E.F. Schumacker
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4 Tips for Being a Great Conversationalist
If you sometimes find it difficult to make conversation with others – especially strangers – here are 4 tips that will put you more at ease:
- Be fully engaged – Being fully engaged involves incorporating these powerful communication skills:
- Be genuinely interested – When you are interested in people, they know. Good conversationalists show their interest by focusing their attention on the person they are talking to. They make solid eye contact, they nod in understanding, make short affirming comments, they do not interrupt, and they do not allow their attention to be diverted with distractions.
- Actively listen – Active listening skills include paying close attention to what is being said by the speaker and not thinking about what you are going to say next. Paraphrasing back what you heard, and asking clarifying questions are effective techniques to ensure that you understand what the speaker has said.
- Don’t tell. Ask. – So you don’t have to feel the pressure of carrying the conversation by talking about yourself, ask questions instead. By asking questions of the person you are speaking with, it shows your interest and engages them further in the conversation. Close-ended questions are answered with a simple “yes” or “no” response. Therefore, ask open-ended questions which start with “Who”, “What”, “Why”, “When”, “Where”, “How”, “What if” and “Tell me more.” Open-ended questions require that the speaker share more about the topic, and often leads to stimulating and thought-provoking conversation.
- F.O.R.I.M. keeps the conversation alive – A surefire way to keep the conversation going is to ask open-ended questions about the subject that matters most to the person you are talking to – themselves. Use this simple formula to keep a conversation flowing – F.O.R.I.M – Family, Occupation, Recreation, Interests, and Message. You can ask many questions in these areas that include inquiring about their spouse and children, hobbies, passions, interests, sports, type of work, where they live and more.
Once you master asking open-ended questions using F-O-R-I, you can use the “M” (Message) to close your conversation. You might say something like, “It was wonderful chatting with you, do you have a business card?”, “I’d love to get together some time, would you like to do that?” or simply, “It was great to talk with you, good luck with your business.”
A strong close makes you and the other person feel that your encounter came full circle to a satisfying completion.
Know when to bring the conversation to an end - Even the best conversations will eventually come to a natural end or be ended by an interruption. Notice the cues of the other person such as them looking at their watch, restless body language, lulls, or their attention being diverted. At that point, give them your “M” (your Message from #3), and end on a positive note.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Six Effective Communication Tips
Good communication skills can be a tremendous asset in all aspects of your life. How can you improve your communication skills? The following tips can help you to communicate more clearly.
1. Look for Verbal/Non-Verbal Contrasts
Check to see if the other person’s words match their nonverbal gestures. Research indicates that when words fail to match up with nonverbal behavior, people tend to ignore what is said and focus on nonverbal expressions of moods, thoughts, and emotions instead.
2. Be Aware of your Own Vocal Tone
When speaking, your tone of voice says a great deal about the emotions you’re really feeling during a conversation. Pay attention to how your tone affects how others respond to you and the emotions they express in return. Remember, what comes back to us from others is indicative of what we have originally put out.
3. Make Good Eye Contact
If you fail to make good eye contact, it sends a message that you are either evading something, hiding something, or simply not interested in the current discussion. Eye contact is critical to communication. Practice your eye contact skills by making eye contact in four to five second intervals. Keeping eye contact with the other person will also help keep your attention on them as well. It also stops your mind from wandering.
4. Make Your Communication More Effective and Meaningful
Verbal and nonverbal communication skills work together in conveying your message. You can improve your spoken words by using nonverbal gestures that reinforce and support what you are saying. Remember, your whole body, as well as your mind, is a constant and powerful channel for communication.
5. Give Your Full Attention
We might think we can multi-task, especially during a conversation. Divided attention is actually no attention. As humans, we really can only focus on one thing at a time. During a conversation, minimize potential distractions within and without. Listening is an active process of trying to understand what someone else is saying. Listening is not a passive, quiet moment when you are just waiting until it’s your turn to talk again.
6. Clarification is Critical for Effective Communication
Check in with your listener to make sure that your message is being understood as intended, and never assume that your listener has the same knowledge or interest in a subject as you. Your audience will listen and absorb your information when you present it in their terms. Communicate to your audience using their interests, experiences and background.